THE CLOCK STRIKES HELL HOUR

[vapidus]

Vanitas is a bit iffy about dark corridors right now, given the real estate he's currently loaning. It's a pain, because they're just so easy to make and come naturally to him. He can use the lanes at least though, which is good, because otherwise the only way to the orange town bolted onto Yen Sid's tower would be the train, and Vanitas doesn't want to walk. Or really interact with people right now.

He just needs a fresh air today. The tower's getting way too full and Sora's friendly, but also a little too much at times, and also a reminder of just how far and close Ventus is right now. Lea looks like he's thinking the exact same thing, whenever they're in the same room together, Riku talks to him without meeting his (current) face, and Kairi... well actually there's nothing wrong there. But the cooped up feeling is still enough to get him wanting out for a bit. The increasing oppressive feeling of knowing the clock is ticking hasn't been helping.

The clocktower is picked arbitrarily. It's the highest point in the town he can see, and he likes to be tall, and there's probably not going to be anyone there. Perfect. And later he can see if there's any interesting rocks in the hills and woods nearby. He's going to have to start all over with his collection, thanks Ventus.

Unbeknownst to him, trying to use a Lane within a world isn't really what they're intended for. The result is a kind of universal hiccup trying to smooth over the contradictory commands to go to a different world that is also the same world.

Sorry, Roxen.

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[vapidus]

God. He would. He would and it probably wouldn't help with the existing issues with adults and trust already there.

For Vanitas, intent is a black box. He can only work backwards from what was actually done. Vanitas doesn't consider sparring as 'fighting', in this metric, but to be honest there wasn't much of that either, and only very late, under high supervision. Ostensibly because of the gap in skill, because of the risk of Unversed being created by an accidental hit, and also because of Vanitas's enthusiasm combined with a penchant for dirty tricks (the whole point of a spar was to win, right?). It was mostly theory, drills, and magic practice, instead. Vanitas reaches the same conclusion Roxen does, of wondering why he was allowed to get stronger at all. It's part of the whole mess of things.

"It's fine." Vanitas waves off the apology easily. There's a pang, a sharp painful spike, but it's not because of the yelling. He's used to being yelled at occasionally, and this isn't even at him. It's his own memories of Eraqus coming up, the good ones. He gives Roxas a 'look who you're talking to' expression, on the horrible end of things. "If you don't hate him, then you know the Organization was worse." It's possibly the teeniest thread of a silver lining ever, but it's something Vanitas can give, a certainty. There's a scale and this magic teacher who really wasn't is further down it. Vanitas is shaky on the whole idea of forgiveness but he likes to consider himself an expert on negative emotions (although he's probably not as much of one as he thinks). He leans back on his elbows.

"He tried to kill you. Not wanting to see him again isn't horrible, it's sane." It's that simple to Vanitas. Black and white thinking at work again. Nevermind that he himself doesn't know if he'd want to see Eraqus again, if the man was still alive. It just feels. So horribly unfinished, how things ended. There was no true close to it, no deliberate severance. The choice to fight for his life was taken out of his hands. He'd never see Eraqus again, and it wouldn't be because he chose not to.

('So invested in maintaining the status quo that he forgot to protect us with goodwill' would sting if Vanitas were more self-aware. That one year was... kind of like that, rip.)

[vacantis]

"I guess so..." Vanitas isn't wrong. They were, somehow. There was something else they'd done, that was a million times worse then anything Eraqus had ever tried...but his head hurt to much to focus on it. It always gets that, towards the end of Roxas's memories. Maybe they just aren't compatible enough for him to remember them.

"It's not really how bad he is that matters." He finally sighs, running a hand through his hair. "It's just that...he did something bad. To both of us. Which means...I don't know what it means. But it means something. I can't think about it any more then that." Even thinking about his old Master's face is starting to feel like a nail being driven through his skull.

"Aqua misses him." He sighs. "I don't...know if she knows. I'm not going to tell her. But she misses him and I don't want to see him ever again...do you feel like that with her?"

[vapidus]

Vanitas could possibly pull something out from that, maybe that it's a betrayal of trust or that in his mind the level of badness actually does matter, but similarly to Roxen poking at this wound is starting to tire. "It means it happened," is what he says instead. It happened and it can't unhappen and he'll gladly take this change of subject now thanks Roxen.

Except not, because... there's an expression Vanitas's face gets, the sort of default neutral expression that comes when there's inner turmoil he's focusing on keeping down instead of having it come out, quite literally.

It's not as bad here as in other cases, but it's basically habit at this point. He looks down, thinking, picking at the hem of Ventus's blue lobster shirt before remembering and stopping. "I don't know where Aqua is," he admits. "Mickey says the Realm of Darkness, but I can't go because this is in the way." He gestures once again at his body, this time with a snarl of frustration at the situation. If he was his full darknessy self, the Realm would probably pose no obstacle at all, in his mind.

Sora really needs to get the power of waking, but he's also recuperating from the disaster that was the Mastery exam.

i forgot about the blue lobster shirt, praise the blue lobster shirt.

[vacantis]

Roxen doesn't know Vanitas well enough to really get a read on that expression--he's still subconciously expecting some sort of...anger, if he says something that would upset Vanitas.

"Oh." Truthfully, Roxen probably doesn't look very concerned. To him, the solution to this problem is already readily apperant, and hey, if it worked out for him, it'll probably work out for Vanitas. "I guess you woke up early then. She'd already gotten out when I woke up." The first person he saw, really. It was just going to be him, a mess of a person in a dream forever, and then suddenly there was Aqua.

"Why would that get in the way? It's just a body." Between being a nobody, and a half heart of pure light, darkness has never really factored into Roxen's daily concerns. He hasn't tried using a dark corridor yet, but in his head he believes himself still totally capable of them. Why wouldn't he? Hell, Roxas specialized in light spells, and he could still use them.

"If you wanna go, you should just go." He waves a hand flippantly. Yes he's a bit of a methodical thinker but what are consequences again? Running off to save friends is always a 10/10 course of action. "Axel...Lea could probably get you there if you asked. Borrow one of the coats."

[vapidus]

The unfortunate result of spending one's formative years with emotions making monsters in a location where this is highly discouraged - super good repression skills. In a way there's a weird parallel to swap Ventus in terms of the possibility of not knowing you're hitting a button until too late, but Vanitas is better at showcasing displeasure.

Instead of realizing Roxen is making several assumptions about the timeline and accidentally conflating Vanitas's benevolent possession with Ventus's future awakening, Vanitas's mood ticks up a few points as he fully buys it, a considering spark in his eyes. Roxen has no reason to lie, and Aqua IS badass enough to break out on her own, in his mind. If she's out there somewhere in the worlds now it's just a matter of finding her.

As a result he's less snappish than he could be when he rolls his eyes and says "Yeah, and who'd have to explain that I lost it if it ends up wrecked." It bothers him a lot more than his flippant tone suggests - he technically knows replicas are a thing but not that they can be convenient blank slate bodies for such a purpose. If this shell of Ventus dies... that's it. Still tho. He really does want to, stop enabling him Roxen. But at least it's not as much of concern because Aqua's not there after all :' )

He extends a hand in front of him and darkness swirls to make a portal hanging just in front of the tower. He smirks. "Who needs Lea?" It collapses as he withdraws his hand, thinking. "How good are the coats?" Are they as good as keyblade armor? He finds himself a little skeptical, just by default.

[vacantis]

"Oh." Roxen leans over. "Haven't you wrecked it a bit already?" Ending up in another universe all the time and all. Snarky, snarky. Roxen doesn't really take that the threat of that super seriously--Roxas ran around in Sora's body for a whole year and he's pretty sure Sora hasn't suffered any long term damage from all the knocks to the head and near death experiences he endured.

Well he's at least 50% sure.... If Sora has issues its probably his own fault from stabbing himself out of his heart all the time!

"Hey!" He pouts a bit. "Lea is useful. He knows a lot of stuff." Despite all complicated feelings, he does still feel obligated to stick up for his best friend. "He's the one who showed me where to get the ice cream we just finished." And now he wants more. Drat.

"Not quite sure." He said honestly. "I didn't...well I didn't think I had a heart when I was using them. So I wasn't really paying attention to if I was getting darkness on me, 'n stuff." He pauses. "But, you know. Xehanort wears a coat instead of keyblade armor, and since he's a master he probably has one of those. So, I think they must be at least as good. I don't think he'd wear something that didn't work."

[vapidus]

"It was like this when I got here," Vanitas says with practiced defensiveness that suggests he's said this a lot - he's assuming this statement is in reference to the scars. This is mostly true. He stretches his arm across his chest, briefly locking it in with the other before they return to his sides. "I don't know what he was doing with it but all the joints hurt just before it rains." It's a pain, quite literally. This is a secondhand lemon of a body, and he's going to kvetch as much as he likes about it. Also he was just going to a clocktower! And this is an exactly-the-same clocktower.

Roxas got a Ventus-heart makeover so maybe that hit the reset button? Who knows. A mystery.

Vanitas's face gets the grumpy sour expression common to those who know a good point is being made at them that they will only begrudgingly accept. Much as he dislikes Xehanort (most of the ire squarely at the feet of having to live with and never see Terra for a year) and would not trust the man or anything he says out of principle, Roxen has a point.

"I'll see if Lea can get me one." Vanitas does have a nose for who can or will enable shenaniganry and he has not incorrectly pegged Lea as the sort who would let him sneak out to do this despite technically not being allowed to, without telling anyone. So he is useful, and this is Vanitas low key saying as much because his pride can inflict him with obliqueness sometimes. He leans forward, interested. "Where did you get it?" It was actually pretty good. He wouldn't mind getting more for himself, later. (He's going to eat like twenty bars in quick succession and regret it soundly).