God. He would. He would and it probably wouldn't help with the existing issues with adults and trust already there.
For Vanitas, intent is a black box. He can only work backwards from what was actually done. Vanitas doesn't consider sparring as 'fighting', in this metric, but to be honest there wasn't much of that either, and only very late, under high supervision. Ostensibly because of the gap in skill, because of the risk of Unversed being created by an accidental hit, and also because of Vanitas's enthusiasm combined with a penchant for dirty tricks (the whole point of a spar was to win, right?). It was mostly theory, drills, and magic practice, instead. Vanitas reaches the same conclusion Roxen does, of wondering why he was allowed to get stronger at all. It's part of the whole mess of things.
"It's fine." Vanitas waves off the apology easily. There's a pang, a sharp painful spike, but it's not because of the yelling. He's used to being yelled at occasionally, and this isn't even at him. It's his own memories of Eraqus coming up, the good ones. He gives Roxas a 'look who you're talking to' expression, on the horrible end of things. "If you don't hate him, then you know the Organization was worse." It's possibly the teeniest thread of a silver lining ever, but it's something Vanitas can give, a certainty. There's a scale and this magic teacher who really wasn't is further down it. Vanitas is shaky on the whole idea of forgiveness but he likes to consider himself an expert on negative emotions (although he's probably not as much of one as he thinks). He leans back on his elbows.
"He tried to kill you. Not wanting to see him again isn't horrible, it's sane." It's that simple to Vanitas. Black and white thinking at work again. Nevermind that he himself doesn't know if he'd want to see Eraqus again, if the man was still alive. It just feels. So horribly unfinished, how things ended. There was no true close to it, no deliberate severance. The choice to fight for his life was taken out of his hands. He'd never see Eraqus again, and it wouldn't be because he chose not to.
('So invested in maintaining the status quo that he forgot to protect us with goodwill' would sting if Vanitas were more self-aware. That one year was... kind of like that, rip.)
no subject
For Vanitas, intent is a black box. He can only work backwards from what was actually done. Vanitas doesn't consider sparring as 'fighting', in this metric, but to be honest there wasn't much of that either, and only very late, under high supervision. Ostensibly because of the gap in skill, because of the risk of Unversed being created by an accidental hit, and also because of Vanitas's enthusiasm combined with a penchant for dirty tricks (the whole point of a spar was to win, right?). It was mostly theory, drills, and magic practice, instead. Vanitas reaches the same conclusion Roxen does, of wondering why he was allowed to get stronger at all. It's part of the whole mess of things.
"It's fine." Vanitas waves off the apology easily. There's a pang, a sharp painful spike, but it's not because of the yelling. He's used to being yelled at occasionally, and this isn't even at him. It's his own memories of Eraqus coming up, the good ones. He gives Roxas a 'look who you're talking to' expression, on the horrible end of things. "If you don't hate him, then you know the Organization was worse." It's possibly the teeniest thread of a silver lining ever, but it's something Vanitas can give, a certainty. There's a scale and this magic teacher who really wasn't is further down it. Vanitas is shaky on the whole idea of forgiveness but he likes to consider himself an expert on negative emotions (although he's probably not as much of one as he thinks). He leans back on his elbows.
"He tried to kill you. Not wanting to see him again isn't horrible, it's sane." It's that simple to Vanitas. Black and white thinking at work again. Nevermind that he himself doesn't know if he'd want to see Eraqus again, if the man was still alive. It just feels. So horribly unfinished, how things ended. There was no true close to it, no deliberate severance. The choice to fight for his life was taken out of his hands. He'd never see Eraqus again, and it wouldn't be because he chose not to.
('So invested in maintaining the status quo that he forgot to protect us with goodwill' would sting if Vanitas were more self-aware. That one year was... kind of like that, rip.)