vapidus: (this again)
vapidus ([personal profile] vapidus) wrote 2020-04-12 01:22 pm (UTC)

10/10 for effort roxen, you're doing great sweetie

Vanitas blinks at Roxen like it's only just dawning on him that he had, in fact, done exactly that, because really it hadn't occurred to him. He takes the splintered mess of a stick out of his mouth and tosses it off the tower. F, if there's anyone in the courtyard below. He shrugs again. "I tried to keep him away from Terra but it's not like I could watch him all the time." He and Aqua took shifts at first and it was Very Boring and quickly apparent as impossible. It never occurred to him to use Unversed as sentries. Not while there. (Not even as Bunny would seek Ventus out.)

Oh yeah, he never mentioned the whole 'amnesiac possessed Terra also was living with us' thing, did he. "Didn't you say there's a Vanitas out there right now?" Be the change you want to see in the world, Roxen, although he's not going to blame you for not. It's just a little bit of a poke, as he does.

Then Roxen gets that weird expression and it wigs Vanitas out a bit and also, bizarrely, reminds him of Aqua. He does, to his credit, do his best to listen, licking the very last of the icecream goo off his fingers, picking under his nails but maintaining a consistent glance. It's clearly important, even though it takes to the end to get why Roxen is saying it.

"He wasn't horrible like that," Vanitas says assuaguingly, although his tone could be misinterpreted as dismissive, especially with the slightly distracted note of someone concentrating on one of those puzzles where there's all those interlocking metal bits you have to separate. "I wasn't allowed to fight anything. Not even my own Unversed." That he knows for certain. "No one was. They had to freeze them if I couldn't stop them, if they got out of hand." It was always a weird sensation, the bite of numbness, and not really pleasant but it was better that the distinctive pain that was his recurring companion for two years.

For the discovery of it, Aqua had apologized profusely before Vanitas even knew what apologies were for. And over time, Vanitas learnt how to control his emotions, in both senses. The Unversed became less numerous, more docile. Temple cats, or rats, or monkeys, left to laze on steps or lounge on windowsills, to Eraqus's approval AND disapproval. He learnt how to take them back without making more, until the only one left in the Land of Departure was Bunny, kept a furtive secret. The random inflictions of pain stopping also helped, even if the last one had been so severe as to make it feel like he was all the way back at the start again.

This much was certain. Vanitas's speech slows as he tests his mental footing going onwards. "He did want to teach me, for whatever reason, or he wouldn't have let me join lessons." Including ones on magic. Vanitas would have snuck down and hidden somewhere to watch anyway, though. He was a free spirit, and also who expected a creature of darkness to behave. "If I became injured and Terra or Aqua didn't heal me, he did." So he hadn't wanted Vanitas to come to at least that much harm.

"Explaining things..." That's where things stick. Vanitas wishes he hadn't thrown the stick just so he could throw it again now. "Lessons, sure. He never told me anything about the Chi-Blade, or Ventus. Just that I came from a boy that died." Vanitas never shared Roxas's curiosity about his situation and himself - would it have mattered to him if he'd known? He can't really know. But it's one of the many threads in the ball Roxen handed him, so he's picking it out to look at it. He's unaware he may be somewhat missing the point, although he does feel like he's gone in a circle and gotten nowhere, so he switches tracks in frustration.

"I get why he did it, I don't get why, if he was going to do it, he didn't do it at the very start." Why does Ross, the biggest friend, not simply eat the others. Even as he said 'became a problem' earlier, it's the contrast that's what he's really struggling with. His black and white thinking finds it difficult to reconcile, not helped by his problems with change. He gestures out sharply at nothing in particular before letting his hand drop back to his side. "That doesn't make sense." He looks at Roxen, red eyes eerily incisive for someone who completely missed the boat on what Roxen was gently and cautiously trying to ask and tell him not a moment earlier. "Do you hate him?"

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